SPORTS AND GAME, GOSSIPS AND TRANSFERS NEWS Friday

Bayern Munich have lined up Sunderland striker Asamoah Gyan as their number one target during the summer and are willing to pay £12m for his signature.Full story: talkSPORT

Manchester United's attempts to lure Palermo midfielder Armin Bacinovic have hit a snag after the players' agent refuted claims the player was interested in a summer move.Full story: bettor.com

Newcastle United are preparing a £19.2m swoop for Anderlecht's 17-year-old striker Romelu Lukaku, but Spurs are also keen with Peter Crouch's future unclear at White Hart Lane.Full story: Metro

Liverpool face a battle to sign Aly Cissokho after the French defender revealed he was happy to stay at Lyon.Full story: talkSPORT

OTHER GOSSIP

Ryan Giggs says Manchester United were "bamboozled" by Wayne Rooney's ban but claims it will serve only to make them stronger.Full story: Daily Mirror

Arsenal Supporters' Trust have expressed their "considerable disappointment" over the Gunners' recent results, but will reserve final judgement on the squad until the end of the season.Full story: Daily Mail

AND FINALLY

Joey Barton has savaged his England rivals in a withering attacking, claiming he is the best midfielder in the country. Barton dismissed Frank Lampard as past it, Steven Gerrard as injury prone and Gareth Barry as "teacher's pet".Full story: Daily Mirror

Villarreal Topple Twente

In a European midweek full of goals, Villarreal have hit five past Eredivisie leaders Twente in a convincing 5-1 victory. Nilmar bagged a brace, while Marchena, Borja Valero, and Rossi goals have virtually booked the Yellow Submarine's passage into the semi-finals of the Europa League...

Five Things We Learned

After an exciting week of Champions League football, much has been made clear: Leonardo is not the man for Inter, Real Madrid could surprise the favourites, and a record haul of goals is down to defensive disasters rather than attacking verve. Peter Staunton investigates...

Fergie Handled Roo Perfectly

Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney was at his marauding best at Stamford Bridge in a week where he made the headlines for all the wrong reasons. Goal.com's Greg Stobart analyses the vital role Sir Alex Ferguson played in getting his star man in the right mindset for the game...

Inter Want Guardiola

Pep Guardiola is reportedly in the frame for the coaching job at Inter and has already met with club president Massimo Moratti, reports in Italy suggest. The Barcelona boss, however, has recently signed a deal with the Blaugrana that carries him through to the end of next term...

Risky Business

After damaging his anterior cruciate ligament against Juventus on Sunday, Roma defender Philippe Mexes has seeminly played his last game for the Lupi. With Milan looking like the Frenchman's final destination, Goal.com takes a look at just what the Rossoneri could be buying...

Robben Wants Van Der Wiel

With Bayern Munich looking to bolster their back-line for next season's campaign, Arjen Robben has singled out Ajax full-back Gregory van der Wiel as a player who would fit right in. Being a fellow teammate in the Netherlands squad, Robben had plenty to say about the young defender...

No One Is Getting Pastore

Palermo president Maurizio Zamparini has ruled out a summer move away from the club for Argentine playmaker Javier Pastore, who is reportedly wanted by Barcelona, Real Madrid, and Roma. The controversial club patron insisted that his star player won't be going to Rome or anywhere else...

TRANSFER GOSSIP

The grand pa of politike

funny quotes

"Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth."
---Chuck Norris

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."
---Charlotte Whittond

MWONGOZO WA SHERIA KWA WOTE

http://pdf.usaid.gov/pdf_docs/PNACW571.pdf

quote of the day

 

"Women are like cell phones. They like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button, and you will be disconnected."
---James Harly 

LOVELY QUOTES

Love is a present,
so open it happily.

- Sepatu Usang -

lovely poem

Words twist and tumble
Through my mind
But I can't grab the right word
Or the right line
So we sit
In silence
But it’s not uncomfortable
In fact I love it
You rest your head on my chest
As we lay here
Lovers entwined
Hearts tangled
You raise your head
And look into my eyes
And I see our love
Almost as if it’s a real force
I don’t ever want to lose this moment
You lay your head on my chest once again
And now I can feel your heartbeat
And my hearts skips
And I finally find the words I’m looking for
I love you

- Stephen Piekuta -

SPORTS AND GAME, GOSSIPS AND TRANSFERS (Tuesday)

UEFA Champions League

18:45 (9.45)

Internazionale v Schalke 04

 

18:45 (9.45)

Real Madrid v Tottenham Hotspur

 

 

TRANSFER GOSSIP

Valencia midfielder Juan Mata could still make a summer move to Manchester with either United or City, despite the striker's agent previously denying any talks have taken place.
Full story: Metro

Arsenal are to offer full-back Gael Clichy to Everton in exchange for England star Leighton Baines.
Full story: Metro

Manchester United are monitoring the form of Juventus' 25-year-old midfielder Claudio Marchisio.
Full story: Talksport

United manager Sir Alex Ferguson is set to invite 16-year-old Brazilian striker Adryan to Old Trafford for training. The Flamengo forward is also a target for Real Madrid.
Full story: Talksport

Gunners utility player Emmanuel Eboue may follow William Gallas from Arsenal to arch-rivals Spurs.
Full story: Daily Mirror

Aston Villa are monitoring the progress of Legia Warsaw midfielder Maciej Rybus as winger Ashley Young moves closer to an exit.
Full story: Talksport

Chelsea midfielder Florent Malouda could be about to leave the club in the summer, according to reports in France.
Full story: Talksport

Bolton centre-back Gary Cahill is being targeted by AC Milan as a replacement for aging defender Alessandro Nesta.
Full story: Daily Mail

Everton have started talks to try to secure midfielder Marouane Fellaini's long-term future at the club.
Full story: Daily Mirror

Sunderland manager Steve Bruce is tracking Valenciennes' Cameroon international left-back Gaetan Bong.
Full story: Daily Mail

OTHER GOSSIP

Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti is a target for Italian side Roma.
Full story: Daily Mail

Arsenal defender Johan Djourou is targeting a surprise return from injury in time for the crunch clash against Liverpool on 17 April.
Full story: Daily Mail

Nine hundred Manchester City fans face missing the FA Cup semi-final against rivals United at Wembley a week on Saturday after match tickets were stolen from a Royal Mail delivery van on April Fools' Day.
Full story: Daily Mail

Arsenal are reportedly eyeing up FC Porto manager Andre Villas Boas as a future replacement for Arsene Wenger.
Full story: caughtoffside

AND FINALLY

Former Gunners striker Emmanuel Adebayor has vowed to do his old club a favour and score against arch rivals Tottenham when Real Madrid face the north-London club on Tuesday.
Full story: Metro

Ronaldo Makes The Cut

Crisitano Ronaldo has made a miraculous return from injury to be included amongst the 19 players names to face Tottenham in the Champions League quarter-final first leg. Also included in the squad are Angel di Maria, Marcelo and Kaka, who were additional doubts for the clash...

Inter Are Still On Course

Inter coach Leonardo has asserted that the Serie A side will bounce back from their 3-0 Milan derby defeat with an inspired performance against Schalke in the Champions League. The Brazilian boss was quick to remind everyone that the Nerazzuri can still win the treble this year...

Rooney Charged

Manchester United's Wayne Rooney has been charged by the FA after he shouted offensive language into a television camera upon completing his hattrick against West Ham. The striker has until 6pm UK on Tuesday to contest the charges or he will miss his next two domestic games...

Cesc In Minor Car Accident

Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas has emerged unhurt from a minor car accident while heading to training on Monday morning. A spokesman for the London Metropolitan Police stated that no treatment was required, and the Spanish World Cup winner went on to train with the Gunners...

Funny: How to sell everything!

One summer, on a Friday afternoon, a young man was being trained by his supervisor on his first day as a salesperson at a large department store. His supervisor was trying to show him the amount of things he could sell to customers by making them feel they needed the items. "Watch this," he said and approached a man who has just entered the store. "May I help you, sir?"

The man replied, "I just moved into my first house and I need some fertiliser for my lawn."

So the supervisor said, "Well, we have five- and ten-pound bags of fertiliser. I recommend you go with the ten pound bag."

"Why is that?"

"The ten-pound bag will get you through most of the summer, but the five-pound bag won't," the supervisor answered.

"Fine," the man agreed, "I'll take the ten-pounder." "Very good sir. And would you like the stiff rake or the spring-rake with that?"

"Rake? What do I need that for?"

"Well sir," said the supervisor authoritatively, "if you don't rake up the old dead grass before you spread the fertiliser, it won't all reach the soil."

"All right then. I'll get the stiff rake."

"Very good sir. And would you like the fixed sprinkler or the oscillating sprinkler with that?"

The man started to get a bit steamed and asked harshly, "Sprinkler? Look, I just came in here for some fertiliser. What do I need a sprinkler for?" Calmly, the supervisor responded, "Well sir, if you water your lawn immediately after fertilising, the fertiliser will sink into the soil more quickly and in no time at all, you'll have the greenest lawn in your neighbourhood."

This sounded pretty good to the man so he picked up the fixed sprinkler. "OK, then. I'll take all this."

"Very good sir. And would you like the electric or gas mower with that," asked the supervisor.

Now the customer had about had it and he all but blew up at the supervisor. "LAWNMOWER? Look, all I wanted when I came here was a bag of fertiliser. You've already managed to sell me a rake and a sprinkler besides. Give me one good reason why I should get a lawnmower, too!"

Calm as ever, the supervisor said, "Well sir, if you get a lawnmower now, then you'll be all ready to start trimming your beautiful green grass the minute it starts getting too long. Your lawn will look like a golf course and you'll be the envy of all your neighbours! Besides, they are on sale this week only, and you're going to need it either way."

Well, the man figured that sounded OK and he really wanted to get out of there before he bought anything else so at last he relented. "Fine. I'll get the electric mower, but that's it!"

"Very good sir. I'll ring that up for you."

After the man had left the store with all his new purchases, the supervisor turned to the trainee and said, "So, do you think you could do that?" The trainee said that he thought he could and the supervisor directed him towards another customer.

The trainee approached the puzzled-looking man and asked, "May I help you sir?"

The man replied, "Yes. I need some tampons for my wife." Well, the trainee is totally thrown off by this request. He can't imagine what he could offer the man to go along with that. However, he wanted to impress his boss so he thought hard. Suddenly, he had it! "Very good sir. And would you like the electric or gas mower with that?"

"Mower? What the hell is wrong with you? I came in here looking for tampons. Why the hell should I get a lawnmower, too?"

"Well sir," the trainee answered, "I figure your weekend is shot, so you might as well cut the grass."

Je hizi ni mbwembwe au ndiyo mitindo?