Wanawake are thinkers

Never Argue with a Woman.

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside  cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,  and begins to read her book.
The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls upalongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.

 

What are you doing?' 

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.  
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'


'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.   For all I know you could start at any moment.   I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment.  

For all I know you could start at any moment.'


'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.


MORAL:       Never argue with a woman who reads.    


It's likely she can also think.


  Send this to four women who are thinkers 

or men who can take it .


  If you receive this, you know you're intelligent.

SPORTS AND GAME, GOSSIPS AND TRANSFERS (Monday)

TRANSFER GOSSIP

 

Manchester United are ready to beat rivals Arsenal to the signature of talented Southampton youngstwe Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain who is set to move to Old Trafford in a £10m deal.
Full story: Daily Mirror

Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish is ready to outbid Tottenham for Blackpool skipper Charlie Adam this summer.

Full story: Daily Mirror

OTHER GOSSIP

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger has insisted that goalkeeper Jens Lehmann is a long way off being ready to play in the Premier League even after Manuel Almunia's weekend calamity - when he gifted West Brom a goal by rushing out of his area.
Full story: Daily Mail

Sunderland manager Steve Bruce has called for video technology to be used in the Premier League after the Black Cats were the victims of a penalty blunder in Sunday's game against Liverpool.
Full story: Daily Mirror

Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti has admitted that he is lucky to be still in a job after the Blues poor run of form this season.
Full story: Daily Mirror

Citizens Fall At The Bridge

What started out as a tame affair at Stamford Bridge came to life in the dying moments as goals from David Luiz and Ramires secured a 2-0 win for Chelsea over Manchester City. The three points see the Blues leapfrog their opponents into third place in the Premier League...

Inter Close Gap On Milan

Giampaolo Pazzini's well-taken second-half goal against Lecce led Inter to glory on Sunday in Serie A. Picking up the full three points against the struggling side sees coach Leonardo's charges close the gap on league leaders Milan to just two points, putting the Scudetto up for grabs...

Liverpool Sink Sunderland

Liverpool cruised to a 2-0 win over 10-man Sunderland at the Stadium of Light on Sunday afternoon, with the goals coming from a controversial Dirk Kuyt penalty and Luis Suarez strike. With the win, The Reds move up to sixth in the Premier League table, just seven points behind Spurs...

Carroll Returns

Andy Carroll is back in England's squad for their Euro 2012 qualifier against Wales, after recovering from an injury spell and returning to action with Liverpool. Meanwhile, coach Fabio Capello has sprung a double surprise by including Matt Jarvis and Kyle Walker...

CR7 A Doubt For Spurs

Real Madrid have suffered more bad news from the treatment table as Cristiano Ronaldo is potentially ruled out for three weeks with a hamstring injury. While CR7 is known for quick recoveries, the winger's availability to face Spurs on April 5 remains a serious doubt for the Blancos...

Berba Wants New Deal

Dimitar Berbatov is extremely keen to prolong his stay with Manchester United, reports in England suggest. The Bulgarian was the Red Devils' hero on Saturday after scoring their decisive goal against Bolton, and after a largely fruitful campaign he wants to remain at Old Trafford...

ARSENAL SHOW STRENGTH BUT THEIR DEFENDING WILL MAKE THEM CRY

It's been the most bizarre season in Premier League history, but for Arsenal, some things never change.

The Chelsea empire has imploded, Manchester United are top of the table in uncharacteristically unconvincing style and just ten points separates 20th place from seventh. For all the upheaval elsewhere, the Gunners' 2-2 draw with West Brom contained the perennial slapstick goalkeeping and defending we have come to expect from manager Arsene Wenger's error-strewn squad.

Since age, loss of form and controversy caught up with the 'Invincibles' back line of 2003-04 manned by Jens Lehmann, Lauren, Sol Campbell, Kolo Toure and Ashley Cole, the generation that followed has refused to follow in their stoic footsteps.

On Saturday, walking time bombs Manuel Almunia and Sebastien Squillaci were on hand again to throw a grenade into manager Arsene Wenger's dreams of the first piece of silverware since 2005. On the same afternoon as Dimitar Berbatov pulled United from the depths against Bolton Wanderers, crippling mistakes made comeback strikes from Andrei Arshavin and Robin van Persie moot.

Incisive passing, technical brilliance and an unplayable tempo was unleashed. The goals came from opposite ends of the spectrum, with Arshavin's missile worthy of a Soviet MiG fighter plane and Van Persie's slide tackle straight from the highlight reel of Newcastle United clogger Alan Smith.

West Brom only had to wait until just before the hour mark before 'chuckle brothers' Almunia and Squillaci turned an aimless Youssouf Mulumbu clearance into an open goal for Peter Odemwingie to tap home from outside the penalty area.
Such gifts are rarely handed out by Sir Alex Ferguson's men. They are made of far sterner stuff than that.

For years, the long suffering Arsenal faithful has urged Wenger to ditch Almunia and spend big on a Premier League proven centre-back. Instead, the Spaniard has been left in situ to flop when injury to the inexperienced Wojciech Szczesny, while cut-price Frenchman Squillaci has lived up to his fee.

The race isn't yet won by United. Arsenal are now five points behind them with a game in hand - away to Tottenham - to come. A small gap in points separates them. It is, however, the gaping chasm in attitude that will ensure Ferguson's 'unconvincibles' are spraying the champagne in May.

do you want another rap?

SPORTS AND GAME, GOSSIPS AND TRANSFERS (Monday)

TRANSFER GOSSIP

Manchester United plan to sign 20-year-old Atletico Madrid keeper David de Gea as a £15m replacement for Edwin van der Sar, who intends to retire at the end of the season. Full story: Daily Mail

Tottenham are eyeing Bolton's 25-year-old centre-back Gary Cahill, who was a transfer target for Arsenal in January.Full story: Metro

Newcastle United midfielder Danny Guthrie is wanted by Championship side Nottingham Forest, who are keen to sign the 23-year-old on loan.
Full story: Daily Mirror

OTHER GOSSIP

The FA Cup semi-final between Manchester City and Manchester United at Wembley looks set to be the most expensive ever domestic game to police. Full story: Daily Mail

Argentina's 1978 World Cup-winning coach Cesar Luis Menotti is in hospital with a lung infection. Several ex-players have sent messages of support to the 72-year-old, who is known as "El Flaco" (The Slim One).Full story: Daily Mail

AND FINALLY

Crystal Palace manager Dougie Freedman has introduced twice-weekly yoga sessions to the club in a bid to help players mentally and physically. "We don't do it because Ryan Giggs does it," he insists.Full story: Daily Mirror

Manchester United's 40-year-old goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar is flattered by fans' calls for him to continue at the club for another year but the Dutch star will retire at the end of the season because he wants to go out at the top.Full story: the Guardian

Sevilla Shrink Barca's Lead

Sevilla earned a 1-1 draw against Barcelona in a pulsating match at the Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan. The oft-maligned Bojan Krkic opened the scoring, but a glancing header from Jesus Navas ensured a 1-1 draw and narrowed the Blaugrana's lead over rivals Real Madrid to five points...

Totti - King Of Rome

Francesco Totti blasted Roma to a 2-0 derby victory over city-rivals Lazio, who finished a dramatic encounter with nine men. With little over 20 minutes remaining, the Lupi's talisman smashed home a free kick from the edge of the box and added a stoppage time penalty to seal the points...

A Right Royal Battle

Manchester City have set up an FA Cup semi-final against city-rivals United, but they were made to battle hard by Championship outfit Reading. It took a goal from Micah Richards in the closing stages of the match to push Roberto Mancini's side a step closer to silverware...

Lucio In Inter Squad

Lucio could be set to feature against Bayern Munich after making Inter's squad for the Champions League encounter at the Allianz Arena. Leonardo has also named Andrea Ranocchia and Maicon in his squad, despite slight worries over the duo. The Nerazzurri depart on Monday...

DEVELOPMENT OF LOVE

How love develops

Difference researches indicated that the average person progresses through five stages of love. For a person to understand how love develops you need to follow the following key five stages. Fuatilia.

Infantile stage

A baby receives love just because he has been born. He cannot love other, and no one expects him or her to. The infant thinks of himself. He is only concerned about getting what he wants and satisfying his own desires. He doesn’t care about how he puts others as long as he gets what he wants. A baby only loves himself or herself. A baby is there always selfish.

Parent love stage

The child’s first love other than himself revolves around his parents, particularly his mother. Probably this is because she spends the most time with him and does the most things for him. The baby wants his mother to stay with him and follows his father when his is around. Now the child loves himself and his parents.

Friend love stage

A few years later the child ventures out of the home and begins to take an interest in children or his own age particularly those of his own sex. His now adopts the standard of his parents. He is becoming specialized and learning to deal with his friends. Now parents take second place in his or her thoughts. He or she now loves himself, his friends, and his parents- in this order!

Adolescent stage

Hapa ndipo mambo yanaanza sasa. During adolescence stage the horizon expands once more. Now the individual take an interest in opposite sex. A girl finds boys worth of more serious study and vice versa. Tendency is still to consider love in much more same way as a baby does in terms of what can one do for others. The adolescent stage is a trial and error period when attention focuses on ore person for longer periods.

During the early teen years particularly a girl may dream about older, handsome men like movie stares, television idol and the like. Later on she starts dreaming about a handsome boy in the class or school. A girl normally day dreams that if she can make one of these good catches all the other girls would envy her. In general love begins with what you can give to a relationship. And if you have nothing to give, it can’t last longer. And finally you will have to understand that love consists of much more than the feelings involved in romance during the early stages of dating. Love is more than that.

Mature love stage

When you reach this level, physical attraction become less and less significant, and emotional and psychological factors become more important. You shift from what you can get to what you can give. You shift your thinking from yourself to your partner. If you are truly in love, in a spirit of unselfishness you try to do what is best for your partner. And if your sweetheart really loves you, he or she will think about your best interests in an unselfish way. So while you are giving you are also receiving.

Caution: Going through these stages takes time and most of us enter marriage with some infantile love left in us. If fact, most of us never mature in every way. But some people are so seriously arrested in their emotionl development that it would be nearly impossible for them to relate to others in an adult way.

Point to note: Although falling in love is an important element in the process of courtship, you must realize that falling in love is not enough. You need to check your love feelings against the realities of life. Any one young or old can fall in love. The problem comes in trying to stay in love.

Take care and see you next time. (itaendelea)

Sports and games Monday

Barcelona are refusing to give up hope of signing Arsenal captain Cesc Fabregas and believe they can land him with a £38m bid.
Full story: Daily Mirror


However, the London club are looking to the future and are weighing up offers for Swedish teenagers Kristoffer Olsson, 15, and Robert Mirosavic, 16, after a successful second trial at the Emirates. Midfielder Olsson plays for IFK Norrkoping, while striker Mirosavic has been offered a youth contract by Helsingborg.
Full story: Daily Mail


Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish ran the rule over Celtic left-back Emilio Izaguirre during the Old Firm derby against Rangers on Sunday.
Full story: Daily Mail


Birmingham boss Alex McLeish is ready to sign United States international midfielder Alejandro Bedoya from Swedish side Orebro and is flying him in for talks this week.
Full story: Daily Mirror

 

OTHER GOSSIP

Chelsea's under-pressure manager Carlo Ancelotti is set to be offered an escape route from Stamford Bridge by Roma after Claudio Ranieri resigned as boss of the Serie A side on Sunday.

Full story: Daily Mail
Ancelotti, whose out-of-form Blues side went out of the FA Cup at the hands of Everton at the weekend, has come in for criticism but insists he will not quit the Stamford Bridge club.
Full story: the Guardian

However, Ancelotti may have the decision made for him, depending on his side's result against Copenhagen in the first leg of the last-16 Champions League tie on Tuesday.
Full story: the Independent

Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson was so furious that his side found it difficult to beat non-League Crawley in the FA Cup that he is ready to ship out Bebe and Gabriel Obertan at the end of the season.
Full story: Daily Star

Marseille manager Didier Deschamps says he was asked by Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish to take over the Reds in the summer before Roy Hodgson was appointed but could not take the job and go back on his word to stay at the French club.
Full story: the Sun

West Ham captain Matthew Upson is set to miss the rest of the season because of a damaged Achilles tendon.
Full story: Daily Mail

Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp wants to reward injury-prone defender Jonathan Woodgate with a new contract in the summer.
Full story: Daily Mirror

Rangers boss Walter Smith says his side's performance in the 3-0 defeat by Old Firm rivals Celtic was the worst of his second spell in charge of the club. (Daily Record)

 

AND FINALLY

Everton's cricket-loving captain Phil Neville says he should have done the Sprinkler dance - made famous earlier this winter by England's Ashes-winning team - after his penalty knocked Chelsea out of the FA Cup.
Full story: Daily Mail

Liverpool forward Dirk Kuyt insists the team's resurgence is down to him taking over the dressing room DJ duties. (the Sun)

UAMINIFU KATIKA NDOA (UNAJISIKIAJE?)

  

Mke wa Frank anajivunia mume mtulivu, hashindi baa na hatongozi videmu.

 

Akitoka kazini huenda kucheza basketball na hurudi nyakati za dinner. Siku moja mkewe akamhurumia. Anachoka na kazi. Mtu gani asiyependa starehe japo kidogo?

 

Mke akamlazimisha outing, Frank akabisha lakini taxi ikafika. Gonga Club & Lodge.

Walipofika mlangoni tu, mlinzi akaita, “Mambo Frank!” “Poa”

“Nilidhani huwa huji club, inakuwaje mlinzi anakufahamu?”

mke akauliza
“Yule mgambo, mchana analinda ofisini kwetu, usiku anapiga part time hapa” akajibu Frank

Wakachagua meza. Kukaa tu tayari mhudumu ameshaleta castle lager.

Akamuuliza mama anakunywa nini. Mhudumu alipoondoka mama akauliza,
“amejuaje unakunywa castle kama hakufahamu?”

Wakati Frank anajikanyaga aanze vipi kujitetea, mhudumu wa vyumba akawa amefika na kuuliza.

“Mkuu kama kawaida nimekuandalia namba tano, nendeni tu vinywaji nitawaletea huko huko”

Kufikia hapo mama akawa hana simile tena, akanyanyuka akitukana kama chizi. Akatoka nje mbio na kuingia katika taxi iliyokuwepo pale.

Wakati anapatana bei na dereva, Frank naye akaingia. Mama
yakamporomoka matusi kibao na kilio juu. Alipovuta kamasi na kupiga kwikwi akamsikia dereve anasema.

“Duh, eee bwana Frank huyu malaya uliyeokota leo balaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa kuliko wa jana!!!!!!”

Mamaa akazimiaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Natamani kuruka kama ndege

Natamani kuwa naruka kama ndege.

SPORTS AND GAME, GOSSIPS AND TRANSFERS (Thursday)

TRANSFER GOSSIP

Roman Pavlyuchenko's agent has denied the Russian striker wants to quit Tottenham, although Spartak Moscow are believed to be leading the chase for him.
Full story: Daily Mail

Turkish side Galatasaray are keen on Chelsea striker Salomon Kalou and could offer 11m euros for the Ivory Coast international.
Full story: Imscouting.com

Blackburn Rovers have opened negotiations with AZ Alkmaar for their £6m-rated Sweden international midfielder Rasmus Elm.
Full story: Talksport.com

Newcastle face a battle to keep hold of winger Jonas Gutierrez at the end of the season as the Argentine midfielder is a big-money target for Italian club Lazio.
Full story: Talksport.com

Meanwhile, the Magpies have targeted Wolves striker Kevin Doyle as a possible summer replacement for Andy Carroll, who joined Liverpool last month.
Full story: Caughtoffside.com

Bolton striker Johan Elmander is another forward on Newcastle boss Alan Pardew's wanted list. The Sweden international is available on a free transfer in the summer.
Full story: Metro

Fulham are among the Premier League clubs lining up summer bids for £12.5m-rated Freiburg striker Papiss Demba Cisse.
Full story: Mirror

Championship side Leicester City are have made a fresh attempt to sign Chelsea defender Jeffrey Bruma on loan after missing out on the Dutchman last month.
Full story: Mirror

OTHER GOSSIP

Former Newcastle manager Chris Hughton is being lined up for a return to management with West Brom, having had talks with club on Wednesday.
Full story: Mirror

Tottenham winger Gareth Bale is a doubt for next week's Champions League last-16 tie against AC Milan at the San Siro stadium after suffering a setback in his rehabilitation from a back injury.
Full story: Guardian

Although Spurs manager Harry Redknapp said Bale is not for sale, the 63-year-old believes the Wales international would be worth at least £50m in the current transfer market.
Full story: Metro

Outgoing Manchester United defender Gary Neville believes Brazilian right-back Rafael is "going to be United's right-back for many years".
Full story: Daily Mail

Aston Villa's Gabriel Agbonlahor admits he must overtake new signing Darren Bent to regain his place as an out-and-out striker.
Full story: The Sun

Republic of Ireland manager Giovanni Trapattoni believes Darron Gibson should quit Manchester United to further his career.
Full story: Guardian

Young & Victorious

A relatively young England side, missing some of their top class and experienced stars like Steven Gerrard and Rio Ferdinand, overcame Denmark 2-1 with Ashley Young firing in a second-half winner. Daniel Agger and Darren bent traded goals early on in an open affair...

Messi Strikes Down Portugal

The world's two biggest superstars went head-to-head as Lionel Messi's Argentina defeated Cristiano Ronaldo's Portugal 2-1 at the Stade de Geneve in a friendly. Messi, who played all 90 minutes, was the star as he set up the opener and then struck the winner from the spot in the dying moments...

French Connection

In a high-profile clash of the titans, a rematch of the 1998 World Cup final, Laurent Blanc's France defeated ten-man Brazil 1-0 at the Stade de France. The often maligned Karim Benzema struck the winner after good work from Jeremy Menez. Earlier, Hernanes had been sent off for a crazy challenge in midfield...

Spain's Silva Lining

Spain took some thrashings in friendlies against Argentina and Portugal at the end of 2010 and were not totally convincing in a 1-0 friendly victory over Colombia on Wednesday night. Man City midfielder David Silva popped up with the winner in the 87th minute of play...

 

Rossi To The Rescue

A late goal from Villarreal hotshot Giuseppe Rossi salvaged a 1-1 draw for Italy in Dortmund against Germany. Veteran Miroslav Klose had opened the scoring after 17 minutes, but the Azzurri leveled matters with 10 minutes remaining in the contest. Click here for more details on the friendly...

Spanish Still Top Rich List

Deloitte’s annual report on European football revenues has been released, and it reveals that once again Spanish giants Real Madrid and Barcelona top the game’s money league. Goal.com run down the Top 20 richest clubs in Europe...

Oranje Stroll Past Austria

2010 World Cup runners-up Netherlands strolled past Austria 3-1 in their friendly at the Philips Stadion on Wednesday. In-form Wesley Sneijder started the goal-scoring, while Schalke striker Klaas-Jan Huntelaar and Liverpool's Dirk Kuyt added to the visitors' miserable evening.

Usiwe kupe

Unakumbuka msemo wa enzi zile tulipokuwa "Wajamaa" kuwa usiwe kupe? Namuona hapa huyu "Kupe!"