How love develops
Difference researches indicated that the average person progresses through five stages of love. For a person to understand how love develops you need to follow the following key five stages. Fuatilia.
Infantile stage
A baby receives love just because he has been born. He cannot love other, and no one expects him or her to. The infant thinks of himself. He is only concerned about getting what he wants and satisfying his own desires. He doesn’t care about how he puts others as long as he gets what he wants. A baby only loves himself or herself. A baby is there always selfish.
Parent love stage
The child’s first love other than himself revolves around his parents, particularly his mother. Probably this is because she spends the most time with him and does the most things for him. The baby wants his mother to stay with him and follows his father when his is around. Now the child loves himself and his parents.
Friend love stage
A few years later the child ventures out of the home and begins to take an interest in children or his own age particularly those of his own sex. His now adopts the standard of his parents. He is becoming specialized and learning to deal with his friends. Now parents take second place in his or her thoughts. He or she now loves himself, his friends, and his parents- in this order!
Adolescent stage
Hapa ndipo mambo yanaanza sasa. During adolescence stage the horizon expands once more. Now the individual take an interest in opposite sex. A girl finds boys worth of more serious study and vice versa. Tendency is still to consider love in much more same way as a baby does in terms of what can one do for others. The adolescent stage is a trial and error period when attention focuses on ore person for longer periods.
During the early teen years particularly a girl may dream about older, handsome men like movie stares, television idol and the like. Later on she starts dreaming about a handsome boy in the class or school. A girl normally day dreams that if she can make one of these good catches all the other girls would envy her. In general love begins with what you can give to a relationship. And if you have nothing to give, it can’t last longer. And finally you will have to understand that love consists of much more than the feelings involved in romance during the early stages of dating. Love is more than that.
Mature love stage
When you reach this level, physical attraction become less and less significant, and emotional and psychological factors become more important. You shift from what you can get to what you can give. You shift your thinking from yourself to your partner. If you are truly in love, in a spirit of unselfishness you try to do what is best for your partner. And if your sweetheart really loves you, he or she will think about your best interests in an unselfish way. So while you are giving you are also receiving.
Caution: Going through these stages takes time and most of us enter marriage with some infantile love left in us. If fact, most of us never mature in every way. But some people are so seriously arrested in their emotionl development that it would be nearly impossible for them to relate to others in an adult way.
Point to note: Although falling in love is an important element in the process of courtship, you must realize that falling in love is not enough. You need to check your love feelings against the realities of life. Any one young or old can fall in love. The problem comes in trying to stay in love.
Take care and see you next time. (itaendelea)
