MARRIAGE SERIES: BREAKING UP IN STEADY DATING

BREAKING UP IN STEADY DATING

How does it start?

After a successful date and going beyond those dates and finally going steady and seriously get involved into love, then you start finding that treatments are different. He or she has been treating you not in the same way as you used to be in those happy days! But dating as a system it usually ends up with either marriage or breaking up. This one you should clearly know and get ready for it.

Some dangerous signals that might take you to breaking up

1.   Extreme arguing and fighting.

Some arguing and fighting during steady or ongoing relationships is normal. Najua mtabisha maana wasichana wengi watasema atanipigage wakati hajanitolea mahali wala kunioa? The fact is that there is arguing and fighting among lovers before marriage. This is a reached fact. All in all if your fights outnumber your periods of peace then you have something to worry and you should consider breaking up.

2.   Extreme physical involvement

(Physical means love making and other related activities). If this happens the other parts of their relationships fails to grow. If physical intimacy dominate your relationships with someone, then you should break up and begin a fresh one with some one else so that you can balance the emotional, physical and spiritual involvements.

3.   Conflicting goals and values.

Goals and values make up what you are, who you are and what you will be in the years to come. If one of you has dropped out of university will the other wishes to pursue a PhD, the your goals differ drastically.

4.   Abuse.

To tolerate mental or physical abuse while suffering in silence and hopping the other person will change his or her behaviour only encourages such behaviour. Intentional public embarrassments are the signs of danger that partners should consider to be a sign of danger.

5.   Withdrawal.

Love is a constructive force that helps you develop into the best kind of person you can be. It releases energies with you that should help you produce your best, and not drop out of life.

6.   Separations.

When distance separates a couple, two factors should be considered as to whether they should break up, their age and the distance between them. For boys and girls (teens) 10 kilometres might be a problem, but for older couples things might be going on even at distance of 1000 kilometres. Young love can only survive in a here-and-now environment!

7.   Poor combination of personalities.

Whenever you begin dating someone you link your personality with his or hers. Sometimes these personalities blend into a dynamic duet and sometimes they bring out the very worst in each other. If two likable, well adjusted and outgoing individuals become selfish and bitter when combined as a couple, they should not date each other. Every partner should ask this question: am I a better or a worse person when I am with my special friend? Fikiria sana.

Take care and see you next time. (itaendelea)