MARRIAGE SERIES: Love and infatuation, are you in love?

IS IT LOVE OF INFATUATION?

Facts about love and infatuation)

We have seen in the previous lectures on our last post that there are clear differences between love and infatuation. Today we bring you some key issues that bring further differences between love and infatuation. This is the famous study that is based on the Keyhole system of research and marriage studies.

Sn	Infatuation (artificial love!)	Love (real love)
1	Is often based on nonsensical attributes such as the way a person roughs or walks	Looks deeply into the compatibility of character and shared values
2	Depends on physical attraction	Considers other factors other than physical attraction
3	Often destructive and disorganising on personality causing you to forget reality	Brings out the best in you, promoting personal growth, self respect and ambition
4	Often ends rapidly if you are not sexually involved.	It takes time to develop and mature. It may time also to end
5	Dies off when one person is gone	Can survive separation
6	Is more interested in what you can get from the relationship	Is more interested in sharing and giving to bring happiness and sexuality
7	Is most frequent among young adolescent and immature persons	Grows over a period of time and comes with emotional and biological maturity
8	Is usually followed by boredom once sexual excitement dies off	Produces ongoing sense of interest and joy when together
9	Often exploits the other person to your advantage	Protects, nurtures, and cares for the other person
10	It is always a poor basis for marriage	It is enough to build a marriage on if all other factors are right.

Caution: as infatuation is more based on sexual fulfilment, avoid any sexual encounters. It is normal and natural to halve strong desires egging you on toward sexual intimacy. At times these urges may seem irresistible, but sex opens up a host of emotions and problems. We will discuss those problems in the next sessions.

Sort of kitchen party:

In the previous sessions I discussed about dating and break up after steady dating. Now there times that you have broken up with your partner but you do not want him to go on with his decisions. Here are some kitchen party tips that you should apply (wakati mwingine inabidi kukomaa na kujishusha pia utaachwa):

1.  Fall on your knees and beg him (sometimes her) to take you back.

2.  Make wild promises to become exactly what the person wants you to be. Promise to change.

3.  Look sorrow and shed a few tears so he will feel sorry for you. If that doesn’t work, resort to open crying and let her sorbs rack your body. Usione aibu kulia ni hali ya kawaida wanadamu wenye kuuziwa. Ni njia nzuri ya kuondoa maumivu ya kuziwa.

 Swala la kulia hapa siyo la akina dada tu ila hata akina kaka pia. Ukitemwa komaa, lia machozi. Acha kujifanya mwanamume.

4.  Threaten to jump from the nearest tallest building, or to commit suisade. Komaa unaweza kuonewa huruma!

5.  Thank him (or her) for the good times that you have shared and part with your head up and your step light. Then fall apart in the privacy of your room. ACTUALLY this is the right time to GIVE! Teh teh teh teh! Ndiyo utapoteza lulu hivyo unafanya mchezo? Achia mchuma.

 

Take care and see you next time. (makala itaendelea kesho)