MARRIAGE SERIES: BREAKING UP: Stages to break up a relationship

HOW TO BREAK UP

METHOD AND STYLES OF BREAKING UP

Last time we have seen some key signs that may force couples to break up. Remember here we are not talking about marriages but we are talking about a serious or steady relationship where by two couple are dating each other to the extent that they are engaged.

There are two methods or styles whereby couple can use to break up their relationships. The first method is breaking up without a heart and the second method is breaking up with a heart.

Breaking up without a heart

As some of you might have experience or are about to experience, breaking in love relationship is painful. Normally we refuse to think about it so we don’t want to learn the procedures how to break up. Here are some of the DO NOT DO during break ups.

1.   Avoid the guilt trip

this is one of the cruellest method of breaking up. If you are interested in someone else and don’t know how to break the news to your present steady partner, the meanest way to do is to appear in public with your new partner. This method cause so many question such as what did I do wrong? Did I say something to hurt her? AVOID these hot and cold treatments are dangerous.

2.   Avoid sending messages that you date has been cancelled. The best way is to visit her or him and tell her live. Sometime you can give a call and talk to her on your decision. AVOID sending SMS. Messages have the following interpretations; for example if you say:

§  I am not ready to settle down yet, She might interpret as: you have changed and I don’t like you any more

§  We seem to be glowing apart may mean: You have changed and I don’t like the change in you

§  We don’t have the same interest may mean: I used to find you interesting but now you bore me.

§  We don’t communicate in the same level any more may mean: we used to be on the same level but now we have nothing to say to each other.

§  I am so involved with my studies and my job that I hardly have time for a social life anymore, may mean: you aren’t important to me as you used to be.

If you think that time has come to break up your relationship make sure you examine your reasons carefully and the state them openly. It is possible to break up in a spirit of thankfulness for what the two of you have share, for the pleasant memories of good times, and for the personal growth that resulted from your relationship.

Breaking up with a heart

Basically there are no gentle ways of breaking but you may soften the method so that things are not as worst as might happen. The following are the best recommended methods;

1.   seek counsel

Sometime you are not sure whether it is you who is deciding this. If you have doubts please make sure that you seek advice to a counsellor. Explain the whole situations so that you can the help you wanted.

2.   pray about it

Seek divine advice. Pray to God for guidance.

3.   give the other person a warning

An abrupt break can have the impact of a sudden death of a close relative. Avoid it. Make sure that you give time and a warning signs.

4.   Spare the other persons fillings

5.   admit your own failures

6.   Be truthful regarding your reasons for breaking up.

7.   choose the right time and place

Do not drop the bomb of break up when you are going to the main event or the night before the college exam. It may cause serious problems.

8.   After break up keep to yourself any personal problems the two of you had. Always avoid the desire to broadcast the information. It is really meaningless. The nice thing you can say to other people is we used to go together and she is a nice person.

Take care and see you next time. (itaendelea)